Thirty Years of Being His Mom

Adrian turns thirty this Thursday.

I have been looking through old photographs, choosing which ones to share, and finding myself stopping longer than I expected. There he is with his cap turned backward. Opening a Christmas present. Dressed up and smiling for a photograph.

I know that face so well.

Of course, I know he is a grown man. He is married to Mallory. He is Romeo’s dad. He is a firefighter, with responsibilities and a life of his own.

But looking at these pictures, thirty years feels difficult to account for. There is so much life between that little boy and the man I know today, and somehow both feel close to me.

Our quiet, fearless boy

Adrian is our fourth child and our middle son. In a family of five children, there were always different personalities sharing the same space.

He was the quiet one. He was also our fearless child.

Those two things have always belonged together in my mind when I think of him. Being quiet did not mean he was afraid.

Now he is a firefighter, and I think about that combination differently. There is pride in knowing the work he does. There is also the part of me that will always be his mother, wanting him to be safe.

That part does not disappear because our children become capable adults.

We learn to trust their judgment. We respect their choices. We see what they can do.

And we still want them to come home safely.

Getting to know him as an adult

One of the things I appreciate about this stage of motherhood is getting to know my children beyond the years when they depended on me for everything.

I knew Adrian first as my little boy. Now I also know him as someone’s husband, someone’s father, and a man doing work that matters to him and to others.

Each part of his life gives me something more to appreciate about him.

Seeing him with Mallory makes me happy. As a mother, there is such fulfillment in seeing your child build a life with someone they love.

Then there is Romeo.

Watching my son become a dad has added something I could not have fully understood when he was little. The child I raised now has a child of his own. I get to love them both, from two different places in my life.

I am still his mom. I am also Romeo’s Lola.

Sometimes I look at their family photograph and simply feel grateful.

What the photographs hold

Looking through these pictures, I am reminded of how much an ordinary photograph can hold.

When we took them, we were recording what was happening in front of us. A smile, a celebration, a child being himself.

Years later, I see more.

I see a part of our family life that has passed. I remember having all the children younger and at home. I recognize expressions that still belong to him.

I am glad we kept these pictures. They give me a way to revisit the boy he was while appreciating the man he has become.

And they remind me how much those ordinary days together mean to me now.

Still his mom

As Adrian turns thirty, I feel proud of him. Proud of his work, happy for the family he has built, and grateful that I get to continue being part of his life.

I also feel the tenderness that comes with remembering.

There are things about raising children that you understand more fully once they are grown. How quickly a stage can end. How much you will miss something that once felt routine. How your relationship can change and still remain one of the most important relationships in your life.

Thirty years ago, I became Adrian’s mom.

I have loved knowing him through every age, and I look forward to knowing the person he will continue to become.

Happy birthday, Anak. I love you so much.

Mama